Birth Story Part 2

After the nurses let me hold Oliver for about 2-3 minutes, they had to take him to the NICU. Now it's time to deliver the placenta and sew me up. This was very uncomfortable and worse than pushing Oliver out. I didn't like this part at all!! So the entire time that was happening, I was texting all my friends telling them "Oliver is here. 4 pounds 6oz and 17 inches long!"


I did a great job staying relaxed and calm. Maybe that's why my labor went so quickly? But when the nurse told me it was time to push, I totally lost it and broke down. I kept saying I can't do this without Brice. This isn't the way it's suppose to be. The nurse started crying and had to step back for a moment and calm herself down. As sad as I am that Brice chose to miss Oliver's birth, he has now been sitting with Oliver every night in the NICU and feeding him. And that's all that matters right now. Sadly, it won't be that way once I get Oliver home with me. It breaks my heart, but those are the choices Brice made. He knows I love him and that he would have made a wonderful daddy, but I have to do what's best for Oliver and me now. And I say "would have" because it won't be the same as us being together as a family everyday in the same house.

Oliver has now been in the NICU since November 29th but today they are taking his feeding tube out and he's suppose to come home tomorrow or Tuesday. Please pray nothing changes. I can't wait to get him home on my own turf, and I need to stop letting people run over me and stick to my "rules".

Since my sister couldn't be here, I want to thank Jennifer for staying the night with me at the hospital two nights in a row, and for being there for me and helping me to the bathroom and holding my hand during all the uncomfortable "down there" checks. I don't know what I would do without you Jennifer, I love you!

This is my own personal writing space, and if anyone has a problem with me talking "openly" about my personal life, then don't read it. A lot of people didn't realize how stressed I have been since I moved back home, and I truly believe that has a lot to do with why Oliver came 4 weeks early. No one is to blame for that except me. I should have been able to handle things differently. It helps me to write my thoughts out and read everyones comments. Everyone keeps telling me that Oliver will be able to sense when I am stressed and sad, and that's going to make for an unhappy baby. So I'm going to keep doing what I do to make myself feel happy. And reading all the support I get from you guys, and sometimes complete strangers, means the world to me.

xoxo